Last 8 Days

Dear Diary,

A lot has changed. Looking at the things I have written in the past, it showed me how much I have evolved. It felt like nothing changed. But progress can only be measured by what you have recorded.

I still feel so much. I still get afraid. So I guess I still have my past self. But it is sitting with the new person I’ve become.

Few days ago was my birthday. Let me just tell you that it was fun. It is very nice to be able to grateful for everything that you have. It is nice to be transformed into the grace that you admire to be. It is beautiful.

I wrote a poem yesterday on Instagram. I rarely update this book anymore. But its nice to record the change. So here it is below:

If you could tell me what I’ll become,
Even I wouldn’t know.
There were a lot going on in-between,
Too cloudy to determine,
If it was going to be clear skies,
Or stormy seas.
Colliding black holes,
Or explosive supernovae?
Or maybe possibly grace?
Would that even be possible?

I’ll show you what I’ve become,
A compilation of imperfections,
Mixed with trial and errors;
Careless conjectures,
Brutal stabs,
Bleeding mess,
Like dancing on ice,
Sometimes gliding gracefully,
Sometimes failing miserably.

And I embrace,
All that I’ve become.
~S.H.

I love this phase. Embracing all the messy parts of my pasts and still emerging out happy. I’m happy to have the people surrounding me as my rock solid support. And safe to say, now, I can open myself to others much more now.

Sincerely,

S.H.