As I am now back from my travels and have pretty much settled in. I would like to write down a few things as a reminder for me.
Before I start my journey, I had this bad habit of overthinking and worrying about stuff to the point that I get sleepless nights. As a Muslim, I have yet to learn to let go and trust Allah of the things that are not in my control. So at that point, I told myself that this trip is for me to learn just that.
I read online about pickpockets and thieves and it kept me awake all night thinking that I might loose things particularly my camera. (It is stupid to be worried about this, I know. I’m human) I contemplated bringing it.
Then something triggered me, I told myself to trust Allah. If I were to lose these things then let it be. There must be some lesson to learn and some good in it. So I just brought my camera and nothing happened. Alhamdulillah (thanks to Allah)
On another occasion, while I was there. I decided to walk alone along the streets and trust that Allah will keep me safe. Please take note that I am a girl and being in another country where I speak none of its language and the presence of numerous dogs are considerably dangerous to me. I walked to the main street which took around 15 minutes and felt faint due to the blaring sun. But I told myself, just a little more till I get to my destination. Alhamdulillah nothing happened. I tried not to make eye contact with people and no one approached me except for one person who asked if I was from Malaysia. But from my response he knew I didn’t want to talk to him and walked past by. That moment when you put yourself out there in a situation where anything can happen and put your trust in Him was so awesome. I felt really at ease.
Humans, including me, love to take control of everything. If possible they want to pick the date in which they leave this Earth, pick the moment and time and with whom they want to leave with. But we are not capable of doing that. Those things are meant for Him to deal with. I for one, was afraid of letting go because I might not like what my future entails. (It does not mean that I do not make an effort to work on my future. It means that I still have to work hard and try everything and then let go of how it will turn out). But I forgot that He will give me the future that is best suited for me or even more than what I could ever imagine. I forgot that He is closer to me than my jugular vein and that He knows me more than I do.
And from this journey, I met someone. I met beautiful friends who care and protect me. And I met myself, the person that I hoped to be.
So now, I’ve learned to trust Him. I’ve learnt to let go and rely on His promises because He never breaks them.
P.S. Humairah never forget this.