Talk It Out

I cannot believe fasting month is going to be over. It felt as if days passed by so fast, especially when you’re at home.

Writing poetry is a bit difficult now that everything is okay. Usually I write about people and how I perceive them just like how writers write stories about their loved ones. Its amazing how that has changed. Now I write for myself about me. I used to think that that is bad and too narcissistic. But I realized it helps me give clarity on the emotions that I’m feeling and the reasons for those emotions. Or give me the motivation to continue in life.

It hasn’t come yet. The inspiration. There are people that I truly admire and love which I’ve yet to write for.

A thought came. Are you willing to sit with yourself through thick and thin? Am I willing to? When I was young, I used to do a survey for everyone that’s ever interacted with me. I would ask about their opinion on me and my behaviours. Something they dislike or would like me to change. But of course, they’d say nice things… But yea it’s habit to ask around. I used to question my other friends if they really know who they are. Because I was discovering who I am.

Now that years have passed, I change that survey back to myself. What are my opinions about myself and how has that changed? Am I willing to accept the things that I dislike about myself and stick with me all the way?

Those are the things that I have to think about, really hard. But yea everything is definitely better now 🙂 Not for long but I have to embrace the now.

~S.H.